10 Things I’ve Learned Homeschooling with Toddlers
The toddler years are rough — add in trying to homeschool older children — and it’s a whole new level of challenging. It can feel like everyone needs you…basically all the time. We started homeschooling when my youngest was 6 months old. I also had a young 3 year old and twin 6 year olds. Our decision to homeschool was unexpected and a total 180 for us. We first thought about homeschooling and then 3 weeks later we were pulling our twins out of first grade so it was just a lot to take in really fast. But, now, the twins are almost 9, I have a 5 year old and my little 3 year old is in the best of his toddlers years! So I’ve moved through a few different stages and phases of those young homeschooling years and, at this point, I feel like I am starting to climb out of the trenches. Even though it’s hard there is a lot of joy to be found along the way.
Today, I’m sharing 10 things I’ve learned over these last few years. Hopefully one or two of these tips might spark something that will help you if you’re trying to balance homeschooling with younger children and toddlers.
Create intentional one-on-one time. Fill up those little cups first! Make sure your all kid’s basic needs are met — a good breakfast, getting dressed and ready for the day, diaper changes, ect — and then make some special time with your younger kids. I really like to do this first thing because it sets a positive tone for the rest of our day, but I also have noticed doing this in short incremental periods throughout the day is also really really really helpful. It’s MUCH easier on everyone to be proactive and provide positive attention than being reactive to attention seeking behavior. Warning signs of this type of behavior are tantrums, acting out, aggressive behavior, constant interruptions, and begging or whining. So take some time to read picture books, play their favorites toys with them, and do a really simple special activities together! Little kids don’t need fancy. Right now, my three year old loves when we play cars. “I be this one. You be this one.” And we drive the cars around the floor. It’s simple and he’s happy. These one-on-one moments don’t need to be long time, and, yes, sometimes other siblings will be naturally join in, but it’s more just about being intentional and spending quality time with those little ones on their level. When my younger kids have been between the ages 2-3 we start doing simple preschool activities together and this can also be a fun time to have a little one-on-one time. This time is great to encourage older kids to work on chores, their independent work, or even they have their own free time.
Utilize nap time wisely. Protecting nap time has always been a high priority for me, because, we’re all happier when toddlers get the rest their little growing bodies need. And, this is a great time to work with older children. There are different levels of mental energy for different types of academic work. Doing table work and more formal work like math or language arts may be easier to do without interruptions so save this type of work or the work you feel is most important for when young ones are sleeping. Remember, stages and phases evolve — be flexible in your routines and rhythms.
Include everyone as much as possible. Montessori’s teachings opened my eyes to how powerful this is. Traditional schooling separates children by age and unfortunately this is a disruption to a natural learning rhythm. What a blessing we can take advantage of this organic learning style at-home! One of the best ways young children learn is by mimicking those around them. This is especially powerful when you have children that are within a few years of age. And, it works both ways because older children can thrive having the opportunity to be examples and leaders to younger children. I’m always encouraging my older kids to play and work and teach my younger children because research shows, teaching someone else what you’re learning, is the best way to cement it into your long-term memory.
Buddy up. Do you have an older child that can play well with your younger children? This can free up some one-on-one time for you to work with someone else. It’s sure been handy to have twins for this reason, but kids a few years apart work well too! Last year my 4 year old son and 2 year old son played pretty well together when I needed to work with my twins…it’s not always sunshine and roses. They’re all still learning how to get along and share, but, again having a little bit older sibling or child can help a lot here. This year, my twins can play with my three year old while I work with my now Kindergartner. We rotate around who is with who and over all, it’s been a positive experience in regards to sibling relationships as well. We’re blessed and also have cousins that homeschool right by us so we can also let all the younger kids play while we work with older kids.
Where can you use family-style learning? This style of learning is studying the same subject or theme at different ages/levels. You may feel you need a curriculum to help you do this, but usually I just try to take whatever subject we’re working on and simplify it or make it more difficult. Perhaps experience makes this easier, but I just try to think, how can I bring this to my three year olds level? What will my nine year old enjoy? I usually think it’s easier to simplify, but it's probably different for everyone. Right now we’re doing a birds unit that’s directed to my 4th graders. Some of the lessons are easy to include my boys on. Others, they get bored and move on to other things. I found some free bird-themed preschool and Kindergartner printables I have on hand to pull out when they do want to be involved. I also pulled out some bird stuffed animals, wooden eggs, and simple sensory bin. This also works for subjects like math and language arts. Think stacking cups, puzzles, connecting math cubes, building with base 10 cubes or wooden blocks during math. During language arts touch and feel books work great as independent books for this age, sandpaper letters, magnet letters, stamping, letter boards, alphabet puzzles, ect. The point is just having a little something for everyone to play, explore, and learn with.
Keep open arms and an open space. Most of the time, I’ve noticed, young kids just want to be in the same room as I am. With babies and early toddlers, holding them on your lap with a few toys or right at your feet playing works well. Basically, anywhere we’ve done schoolwork though — our school room, the kitchen table, the living room, our upstairs bonus room…there is always a space nearby for my younger kids to play. A lot of time their toys just end up where we are and that’s fine. We all work together to clean up and put things away when we’re done. If you’re older kids get distracted by having younger kids around, one thing that worked well for us is take short breaks and let them play…then come back and to a little sit down work. Don’t be afraid to take a lot of little breaks if the older kids you’re working with are still young themselves. As they get older, it becomes easier for them to sit and focus for longer periods of time. Sometimes I found myself thinking, “Oh there would be so many fewer distractions if my twins were in a classroom at school.” But I always quickly remind myself that this isn’t true. There are 20+ kids in classrooms versus the 2 other ones we have here at home. That is A LOT more potential for distractions.
Utilize open ended toys for play. The advantage of having a healthy selection of open ended toys around like blocks, magnatiles, duplo legos, cardboard boxes, wooden figures, dress ups and play scarves, toy kitchen, ect. is that these items all spark a wide range of play and it’s very easy to prompt new play each day/week especially with young kids. Let’s say you pull out wooden blocks into the living room while you’re doing school with your other kids. Make a long road with the blocks, add in a few toy trucks and let your child discover it — chances are they’ll pick them up and start playing. This is called an invitation to play or learn. Often times, I keep the base toy off to the side and the next day, I’ll do the same thing, but add in some toy animals or people. A few days later, put those away and leave some carboard boxes out, some blankets, and baby dolls. You get the idea…rotate simple simple activities with things you already have. There really is no need to prep 100 activities to keep on hand. Magnatiles are a big favorite around here. Just today I brought them out and challenged my three year old son to build all different size garages. He started building little custom fit cubes for every toy car in our house! He had a blast and he’ll probably love doing it again tomorrow. Meanwhile, I was able to work with my twins. Remember, it doesn’t need to be fancy. If you need some more ideas, I have a list here on Amazon of favorites for early childhood and preschool years.
Prepare the environment. I don’t have the mental energy to prepare something for every child every day (and I bet you don’t either), but on days I know I want to do certain things — I do prep ahead of time and set out what I need the night before and that helps a lot. I very rarely run out in the middle of the day to get supplies for something we need to work on that day because it just seems to throw everyone off — especially the little ones. It makes a big difference to be prepared ahead of time so the day runs smoothly. This is especially helpful when we have bigger projects or busy mornings or afternoons with other activities. Sometimes it’s prepping something my younger boys can do while my older kids work. Sometimes it’s prepping something everyone can do together so I can work on something else too. For times when I know I am going to need to work with my older kids for longer periods of times, I might use an activity with my toddler that I know will keep them busier for a longer time — like a sensory bin or play-doh with new tools.
Screen time. I know this looks different in every home, and absolutely no judgement…But for us, I’ve learned using screens as a means to entertain while I work with my older kids, overall usually made things worse. We have never been huge on screens — we used to have scheduled time usually mid-day for some quiet time. But, then other days, turning on a show for my younger kids while I worked with my older kids, felt like it’s all I could do to get through the day, and it’s okay. We all have those days. But, I would say, looking in hindsight, I can see where turning on shows or throwing a tablet at my younger kids, usually was more of a quick-fix and was out of desperation to get other things done. This seemed to happen a lot more in the winter months when we didn’t go out as much. Generally speaking, the more I did this, the more my younger kids would have a hard time turning it off, whining and asking to watch more and more, fighting over shows, or especially with really young toddlers — not being able to work the remote and wanting to constantly change the show thus just causing more interruptions. So, at this point we've eliminated almost all screen time and very rarely use them when we’re doing school. It was hardest on me at first, but, now, that I’ve seen how much better it is, I have no intention of going back to any sort of regular screen time. All of my kids behaviors are so much better, especially my toddlers. It only took a few weeks for me to notice a HUGE difference in our home. Overall, behaviors even indirectly related to screen time dramatically improved. We aren’t completely screen free…we do use computers, iPads for occassional learning apps like Kahn Academy or Osmo or digital art, and videos for our devotionals and curriculum. But now it’s more of a special treat and I try to be very intentional and make sure it isn’t because I am acting out of desperation. When we are all having having a hard day, it helps to take a deep breath and look at what other tools I can use first.
Overwhelmed? Burnt out? Try Simplifying. The toddler years are a busy busy stage. If you’re finding yourself overwhelmed in this phase of life — what can you do to simplify? Maybe it’s simplifying your homeschool. Or maybe it’s simplifying other responsibilities - housework, job duties, extra-curricular commitments, service and volunteer positions. Be careful and aware how much you take on. Where are your priorities? What you can do in this stage of your child’s development may be very different than what you can do in another. I’ve had to learn to say no — even to good things.
I hope this helps! Do you have any other suggestions that have worked in your home? I’d love to hear them!
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